Twilight

So, I don't read the Twilight series. I do, however, read the synopses on Wikipedia, and let me tell you, they do provide the lulz. The last installment in the series, Breaking Dawn, was released yesterday, and everyone on LiveJournal is talking about how it's the worst book ever written. Here's a synopsis that one person posted:
"here's a quick recap since i unfortunately read this crap :

edward bella marry.
bella wants to have sex all the time (which is always faded to black)
edward is emo and all omg i hurt you when we first did it, i'm never gonna sex you up again
bella keeps crying to sleep with him and he gives in.
some maid that speaks portuguese walks in and sees them talking and freaks out. we have no idea why, it was never explained.
bella turns out to be pregnant, they fly back to carlisle for help (even tho edward's been to medical school at least twice)
bella turns out has a mutant freak thing and she wants to keep it
alice is pissed off at bella and rather spend time with jacob than bella, who is annoying
bella drinks blood and then vomits and goes into labour
the baby breaks her spine and edward eats the baby out of bella's stomach
edward then injects bella with venom straight in her heart
jacob imprints on the baby, named Renesmee Carlie, aka Nessie
bella turns, is beautiful, calls jasper ugly and makes him feel bad
bella also yells at jacob and calls him a mutt and mongrel
charlie gets to know the truth and no one cares
volturi come to kill mutant spawn
no fight ever happens cuz bella's love shield protects the family from mind attacks
volturi leave and bella edward and nessie live in a cottage behind the cullen house.

and best of all.


edward calls jacob his brother and son in the same line"

All I have to say is BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I think I need to read this. It'll be like an endurance test. If I make it all the way through, I'll have won. Won what, you say? Character, my friends. Character.